Time

If you’re feeling depressed and hopeless about your life, breathe. This is just a moment, and it will pass. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. Don’t give up.

Six years ago, was supposed to be my second wedding to the man I thought was my soul mate. He dumped me 2 months before the wedding.

I felt worthless and like the biggest loser.

It was a dark time to be me. I quickly rebounded and dated a guy I didn’t even like to feel valuable and lovable.

On May 25th 2019, the day that would have been my wedding, I was drowning my sorrows in Tennessee at a sold out Eric Church concert with some spiked seltzers. I also tried pot for the first time in my life because, fuck it, why not!?

I sang. I cried. I was trying to make sense of the depressing shit show that had become of my life, all while trying to pretend the guy there next to me was not there because he annoyed me to a level that actually blew my mind.

I was a literal train wreck.

The proceeding year was probably the lowest year of my life. It felt like an eternity of misery, setbacks, and bad decisions.

I feared I’d never have children of my own. I feared I’d never find someone who I loved as much as my ex fiancé. I feared my life would just be mediocre.

If only I had known, that a mere year later, I would have found the man of my dreams and be living in a “love bubble” as my mom called it in the midst of a global plandemic (yes the L is absolutely intentional.)

One random day, one year and two months after my world came crumbling down, my whole world changed.

I realized why nothing worked with any of the other people. I realized that God had a plan for my life.

Here I am 6 years from what would have been my second wedding date, nearly 12 years from my first wedding, years from literally countless men that I’ve dated, with the man that was created for me.

I’m not sitting here saying we got it all together because we simply don’t.

Erik challenges me. He thinks absolutely nothing like me. He handles things the exact opposite of how I would handle things.

Over the years, we have been facing our own and each other’s ghosts and demons. It’s not been easy at all, but it’s worth it.

Recently, we noted how we finally understand each other and know each other’s hearts enough to make for a much less bumpy ride.

Anyway, here  I am today with my two beautiful children napping in my arms, so incredibly thankful for everyone who wasted my time and broke my heart and lead me right to the loves of my life.

Hang in there single friends. Keep being brave and putting yourself out there. The right one will come along.

Give it time.