Updated: May 6
I’ve been wanting to write this one for a while, but haven’t had the right inspiration until today, International Day of The Midwife.
I was pregnant with Eli July 2020- April 2021. I went to two different OBGYN offices that were not seeing me as an individual or respecting my wishes to have an all natural birth. Because of Covid, they weren’t letting Erik, my advocate, in with me, and I got pressured into things I didn’t want to do. They were running the show their way, and I felt unseen and not respected. I hated going to my visits, and it invoked a lot of anxiety in me.
At this time, they were saying that if a mother tested positive for Covid, even if she was asymptomatic, they took the baby from her. My response to that was a passionate, “Hell no!” If someone tried taking my baby from me, there would be serious problems.
They were also telling me that I needed to give birth to a human wearing a mask. I couldn’t breathe and my heart rate did this crazy fluctuation thing that made me feel like I was dying when I wore the mask just regularly. The thought of trying to give birth wearing one was beyond my comprehension. The stress and anxiety that these things caused me was unbearable. To say I was a wreck was an understatement.
At some point during my pregnancy, I started seeing my girl, Dr Kelli. She made me feel seen, confident, and reminded me that my body was literally created to birth this little human in addition to fixing my low lying placenta and Eli’s breech position. As I told her about all my troubles with the OBGYNs, Dr. Kelli told me about her good friend Kristen who was an incredible home birth midwife. She told me she was the best of the best and suggested I reach out to her.
In the beginning of my 3rd trimester, Erik and I went to visit Sage Femme Midwifery (where Kristen was a midwife at the time) to see if this was for us. It definitely was.
As I sat in a purple waiting room that smelled of a delicious blend of essential oils and incense, I knew I was going to like this experience.
These women literally became my angels. It was such a troubling time for us non mask believing, vax-opposed people. The persecution was real, and for the first time in my pregnancy, these women made me feel safe, held, and not judged. They restored my faith in humanity and were truly the hands and feet of God in my life.
As Kristen educated me and figuratively held my hand through this experience, I felt more and more confident in myself and my body's ability to do this the way I wanted to, the way that God literally designed me to. I was made for this. I also felt that I was in control and making the decisions about my own care and delivery.
During one of my weekly visits, Kristen was trying to listen to Eli’s heartbeat. He kept moving and wiggling making it difficult. She laughed and started talking to him. That was the first moment he became a real person to me.
It was probably just another day at the office for her, but it was incredible and moving to me. This amazing midwife effortlessly let me peer into a window at my son and his funny and sassy personality. In that moment, I connected with him for the first time. It was awesome.
A couple weeks before giving birth, I got really sick (probably Covid). Out of fear, I lied to every single person in my life including Erik and said it was my seasonal allergies. If something went wrong, and I had to end up in the hospital, I was prepared to fight and tell them there was something wrong with their test, and they needed to give me my child, or I’d sue.
In reality, I was almost 9 months pregnant, extremely sick, pretending to be fine when I felt like complete garbage, continuing to work from home, and barely functioning while pretending to be normal when I needed to be resting. I was completely alone, exhausted, and terrified. It was horrible.
I was already quarantined because Erik’s family all had COVID. I was literally at my two week mark to come out of quarantine the day I went into labor with Eli.
I went from a traumatizing situation right into giving birth. By the time I went into labor, I was already mentally, spiritually, and physically exhausted.
I was in labor with Eli for 25 hours. Per Kristen’s advice, I slept as much as possible in the beginning. I relaxed at home, drank ginger tea, and nourished my body to prepare for what was ahead.
The last 8.5 hours were intense. By the time the doula and the other nurse got there to help Kristen, I was past the point of caring and was walking around naked in front of people I barely knew and could care less.
My amazing team faithfully monitored my heart rate and oxygen levels all night long. They gave me cool rags for my head, massaged my back with essential oils (that I could not smell,) and even boiled pots of water and carried them up my stairs to dump into my birthing pool when our hot water tank ran out of hot water.
Kristen never looked shaken or concerned. Her confidence and collectedness made me feel confident. The tenderness, compassion, and care that was shown to me was incredible.
I know for sure, I was not the easiest of patients. I was probably piercing their ears with all my screaming. I remember seeing them close the window and thinking it must have been to not disturb our neighbors (although Kristen has since told me this was likely for the baby's benefit.) I also complained A LOT and through it all, Kristen remained steadfast. Without a hitch, she caught my baby on the floor of my bedroom and helped me scoop him up in my arms for the first time.
After I had time to bond with the baby, Kristen gently helped me get into the shower to get cleaned up. She literally tucked my new family into bed and helped get our home back in functioning order. Kristen became more than just a midwife. She became my friend. I will always hold her fondly in my heart.
It was a rough time to hold the beliefs that we do and to stick to them. When it felt like the whole world was against us, Kristen was there. I will forever be grateful to her.
Happy International Day of the Midwife to the best ever!
If you’re looking for an amazing midwife, hit up Kristen Klein at Southern Adirondack Midwifery. 💕🤰🏼🌻