Erik and I are not subscribing to any parenting style. We are following and trusting our hearts and our son, as we grow to know and better understand our sweet boy as well as ourselves. We are newish parents, so I’m not here to say that we have this thing figured out. What I am saying is that we were chosen to be our son’s parents. Not anyone else. It is our hearts that God wants guiding our son, not any particular parenting style. That is not to say that we don’t accept wisdom from others that resonates with our hearts because certainly, we do, but we make it a point not to blindly follow anyone or do something just because it was previously done.
So many people doubt themselves and clutch onto what others do or have done. Phillippians 2:5-6 says, “Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, who being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God.” I think if people were trusting their hearts (the mind of Christ in them,) we would see emotionally healthier children. Please don’t confuse emotionally healthy with better behaved. They are two very different things. When you’re cleaning and organizing, sometimes, things have to get messy in order to get better. In my experience, that is often the case in intimate relationships. Parenting is not different. Try not to be afraid of the mess. Having faith that God created us to be exactly the parents we were meant to be and walking in confidence in that faith, despite the chaos is essential.
As adults, who have experienced life and various circumstances time and time again, it’s easy to forget how hard it was to experience those things for the first few times. I do not typically enjoy the vulnerability, scariness, and insecurity of doing new things. These brave little people need our patience and love as we guide them through so many overwhelming firsts. If we are busy trying to find the perfect parenting style or formula to make our children behave like flawless little robots, we are missing out on the opportunities afforded to us to understand them, love them, connect with them, and simply BE their parents.
Resting in that key word, “Be.” Just be. Don’t overthink it or let the critics who want your kids to look a certain way get to you. 1 John 4:16 says, “We have known and believed the love that God has for us. God is love, and he who abides in love, abides in God and God in him.” Rest in the love you have for your child, and operate from that place. Parenthood can be exhausting, messy, ugly, beautiful, and exhilarating all combined into a crazy spectrum of emotions coming from both the children and the parents. Being a parent is genuinely the biggest blessing ever bestowed on me. As I live in the privilege of watching my boy grow and teaching him how to function in this world, I am also challenged to “grow” and do the emotional work to heal myself for his sake and also for the sake of my own inner child.